Ila Toups

lla Gene Moore Toups, who for nearly 90 years brought comfort and humor to those around her, and was several thousand volumes into her goal of reading every book in the Waco library, departed this life on March 14, 2023, after a six-week illness. Some people make deals with their maker, and hers was to faithfully mow her own grass until she couldn’t -- which she did. It was a Zen pleasure second only to the connections she nurtured with her eight children and extended family and friends.

Ila Gene was born on March 29, 1933, in Forsyth, MO, in the Ozarks near Lake Taneycomo. She was the third and youngest child of Jesse Van Moore, a Depression-era farmer and local postmaster whose gentle love formed her backbone, and Zula Fay Holcomb Moore, a strong- willed counterforce that filled her childhood home with activity, delicious food, and Avon products. She grew to be a “tall and willowy” 5 foot 3 inches, dwarfed by her offspring but the giant of the family, with an unfailing ability to recall names and details of people no matter how much time had passed.

At 19 she married Randall Joseph Toups with whom she had eight children in 16 years. She reared them with a tireless work ethic and unconditional love, each sure they were the center of her world. For the stability of her family she resolutely became a single parent in 1975, with five kids still in school. She then went to work – first at Woolco, then Payless Cashways – raking in employee awards and making new friends, all the while managing the chaos of a household with patience and little sleep. Her last gig was at Providence Hospital, logging 6,000 hours as a volunteer in the surgical waiting room where her sweet smile soothed worried families. At age 83, after five decades in her beloved Woodway home, she renovated it down to the studs. Despite having kids eager to help her, she managed to live her entire life on her own hard-earned dime, self-made, generous, and always careful.

She relished simple joys – waking before the sun, watching birds and squirrels at the porch feeder, following the daily weather, cutting grass, doing puzzles and crosswords, and picking up the phone to listen intently to the latest news from family and friends, always recalling both the important and mundane events of their lives. Fearless of technology, she embraced her Apple Watch and did jigsaw puzzles on her iPad. She was game for adventures, whether crossing Europe or roaming the cliff dwellings of New Mexico, and equally loved savoring a Health Camp milkshake at the Oakwood gravesite of her 18-year-old son Chris, whose senseless murder could have killed her with sadness but did not.

She leaves behind Daniel Paul Toups of Colorado Springs, CO; Cynthia Toups Threlkeld of Evergreen, CO; Bradley Gerald Toups (Sharon) of Duncanville, TX; Catherine Toups Atkinson (Roderick) of Washington, DC; Ronald Glenn Toups and Nancy Toups Livingston, both of Waco; Cheryl Darline Toups of China Spring, TX; and Jeffrey Blake Toups (Marcia) of Hudson, CO; 21 grandchildren; 27 great grandchildren; and one great-great grandchild; plus at least a dozen who count her as their own. Her son, Christopher Stuart Toups predeceased her and will be interred beside her in the Moore family cemetery in Kirbyville, MO. Her parents and two brothers, toddler J.V. Moore Jr. and Robert E. Moore, died long before her.

Following the example of Our Lady, she humbly spent her life in the selfless service of others with a heart full of love for Christ. “Thank you dear God,” she said recently, “for a wonderful life and for having always been in my corner. Take care of my children, (tell them) not to grieve, but to remember the happy times. I will be waiting.”

The public is invited to a viewing at OakCrest Funeral Home from 3 to 5 p.m. on March 28. On March 29th – her 90th birthday – the family will hold a short visitation starting at 10:30 a.m. at her parish of more than 60 years, St. Louis Catholic Church. A Rosary follows at 11 a.m., with a funeral mass at 11:30 a.m. A Life Celebration starts at 1:30 p.m. at her home. In lieu of flowers, please consider donations for the upkeep of the local graveyard where her family is buried: Brittain Cemetery, 2595 Blackwell Ferry Road, Kirbyville, MO, 65679.